NEW BEGINNINGS

Grief, loss and pain are so difficult and hard to deal with.  It’s complicated, even for us adults.

How often have we heard someone say “Children are resilient, they’ll bounce back” after experiencing some sort of loss, be it death, grief or crises?

Children are not rubber balls. They are living beings with their own feelings and emotions and like adults they too are deeply affected by loss. Every child’s experience of grief is unique. How he grieves depends on the loss, the amount of love invested in what has been taken away, the relationship that was shared and how the loss occurred.

When loss occurs, children are hit by a myriad of emotions.  Their hearts and minds are battered by an onslaught of strange, scary, unpredictable feelings.  They are frightened by the intensity of their anguish and confusion.

Children don’t know how to grieve and they cannot distinguish between the pain of loss through death, divorce, separation or abandonment.  Because they are not conceptual thinkers they cannot differentiate between the different types of loss they are experiencing.  They only know something is missing. Normally when a life altering event occurs, parents or loved ones are themselves immersed in their own pain and either tries to shield the child by saying nothing or they lie about what is happening. Children know that something has happened and when not spoken to feel frightened, lost and alone and the consequences can be devastating if not addressed. If Children are left to cope on their own they can turn to destructive behaviour as a means of ‘coping’ with overwhelming emotional pain, which can have tragic results.

At New Beginnings I work with and guide the child and parent through the four fundamental steps to healing, be it from death, divorce or abandonment. The four stepping stones to healing are:

1. Comprehension

2. Mourning

3. Commemorating

4. Moving Forward

    

   Children and teenagers have the capacity to feel deeply, love intensely, be consumed by loss, experience greatly, and accept help from others.  Bereaved youngsters can grow into happy, healthy, responsible adults with care, understanding, love and emotional support from adults around them.

    

   Together we can be the difference in healing their hurt and restoring their hope.